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Anger At My Ex Reaches Boiling Point
Posted to House Bloggers by Taylor Raine on Sat, 11/24/2007 - 4:00pm
Last weekend was difficult for me. First, I received an e-mail from my ex pretty much saying that everything that was happening to me was my own fault, that I was fabricating every single detail, threat, harassment, etc. that he’s lashed at me for years.
My first response was anger. How could he say these things to me? This was exactly the reason we sought counseling together in the first place. Then I remembered, ‘oh yeah, this is why counseling didn’t work for us.’ I am a very generous person and I am very generous of my time with my children. And so it made me especially upset that he said he didn’t think the children were receiving quality care or time spent with them.
He thinks I walked away from him and our children when “I” turned my back on our marriage. Did I forget to mention that in the divorce papers I received he is asking for EVERYTHING? The children, the house (yeah, the one he didn’t want to stay in) my car, you name it, he wanted it.
In the meantime, he’s telling our children that he will acquire anything their heart desires if they come move in with him and his mom. Guess who will take care of the boys? Sure won’t be ‘daddy dearest.’ I so badly don’t want them to feel the pain that I feel from his abuse and scars that I know I will be burdened with for some time.
I worry about them. They are already complaining of stomach aches and crying over weekend visitation days. It all just sucks. They don’t deserve his wrath.
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You just have to stay
You just have to stay focused on your children. Kids pick up on every emotion- they need to know that you are calm and that all will be all right. Even if it isn't- for now. He's just trying to get under your skin- he's a bastard and he doesn't get to make you crazy.
Good luck!
Crazy
I'm trying very hard to ensure that I don't feel crazy. I am staying focused on my children. It just sucks that he is trying to get custody of them. If he "wins" my whole world will fall apart. I definitely need your luck. Thank you.
Taylor Raine
Quit talking to him!
if this jerk has something to say, let him tell your lawyer. He can't keep up this game if no one talks to him.
That said, you need to continue to focus on your kids and try not to sweat the other stuff unless you are doing it in court. :) Or with a mediator etc.
This guy does not fight fair. He's making threats because he doesn't lose anything without a temper tantrum. This too shall pass.
You Don't Know Him
I don't know how to see the light at the end of the tunnel that might show me that this too shall pass. I would say you don't know him. I don't think it will pass until he finds someone else to project his "fake love" on. Right now, it's the children.
Taylor Raine
your world will not fall apart
I spent $68k fighting a guy who, among other things, rushed thru a "default" divorce in two months while I was back and forth across the country getting my mom into hospice, planning her funeral and then hiring estate lawyer and emptying her apt. I went back and forth for months and this is when he pounced. Cost $22k to have it undone to get my insurance back - he was fined and sanctioned. Then he took my teen off lithium while on visitation and sent her to my new home, in a new state, where teen freaked and melted down. I was fired from new job for missing work 19 times. My divorce decree was final the day I got canned. Sold the new house and moved into Residence Inn with two teen girls. Our world did fall apart and then we put it back. You will too. (They loved the hotel, BTW!) We moved closer to family and friends, and got a new house and better schools. He staged a kidnapping and was again fined and sanctioned and his lawyer dropped his case. Life goes on. He's alone and angry and in debt to lawyer and we have a nice, small family up and running. Not to "one-up" you but trust me - the trite cliches about moving forward, getting rest and exercise and a mani if you possibly can - all true. Ease off the wine for now, drive extra carefully, hire help if you can and see if your insurance offers paid counseling or employee assistance. Use all this. Find a massage school and see when the students offer discount massages - for the kids too.
Rooting for you...someday you will love not having him under your roof to cause trouble.
Not under my roof